I know I haven't been posting much the last few days but the weather has been really nice and we have been enjoying ourselves immensely. I had a BBQ on Wednesday, which was my very uneventful 30th birthday. Then on Saturday a friend and I went out to celebrate. We had a pretty good time but I have to say it is bothering me a lot that nobody else came. I have friends and family back home who would have come if it were closer, and I totally understand that. But I have lived in Halifax for six and a half years now and I could only find one (1) person to come out with me on my thirtieth birthday. That really says a lot about me I think. I don't know what it says but I do know that some changes have to be made.
I don't think I am a bitch or anything. (I hope I am not) I think I am just way too timid. Weird to imagine, because people who do know me know I never ever shut up and also I can be very loud and obnoxious sometimes. But when I meet people, I don't know how to take it from small talk to actually hanging out and becoming friends with people.
What I would really like is a group of about four or five people I can get to know and hang out with and be myself around. But it seems like everybody already has their group made up. Even when I do meet people and hang out it always seems like I am kind of inviting myself along and so I spend most of my time feeling like they just let me be there to be polite. It doesn't help that nobody ever calls me or calls me back, and most people don't follow through when they say they are going to do something. And I don't want to be that person who has to call all the time and say "Hey, you said you wanted to go do such and such did you still want to?" because most of the time the answer is "no my cat died" or "my sister has her practice for her wedding hair that day" or whatever. I hate nagging people and feeling like a stalker.
Anyway I really am sick of not having very many friends or any kind of a social life. I need to do something about it, before I lose my mind. Because at this rate, the only party I am going to have will be a pity party.
2 comments:
I'm sorry my husband decided he didn't love me and sent me back to CA, or I would have TOTALLY been there to celebrate your bday. Or you can leave your husband and baby and come to CA - you'll fit in very well in my group, although I don't have much of one either. But at least I have you, even if it is just virtually.
So I just wanted to say: I LOVE YOU. And you are awesome. And anyone who doesn't take the time to get to know you and find that out, well, hell, it's their loss and they are big fat stupidheads and you're better off without them anyway.
I hear you, sista! When I meet a woman whom I think would be fun to hang out with, it's so weird to actually get to that point without sounding like you're asking them out on a date. "Hey, do you want to go for coffee?" Date. "Do you want to go for a walk and talk sometime?" haha. Second date.
And I have one close friend here...after 3 years.
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