You know, I had all kinds of cool things to say, because we got a lot of stuff done this week. Not only the bedrooms, but we drove out to the valley and picked blueberries, and then I made about everything you can think of with blueberries, and then canned it. I sorted my yarn, and organized my projects, and I wanted to post some pictures of it and actually write something about the knitting I have been attempting.
But really, I am just fricking tired. Ian is driving me crazy. Now don't get me wrong, he's a good kid. But he has selective hearing. He is completely unable to hear the sound of my voice. When I say something, he either ignores me completely or actually laughs in my face. Sometimes, I will ask him to pick up his toys and he cries as if he is being horribly, painfully tortured. And this is not just sometimes. It is all the time. At home, in public. I had to drag him out crying half way through a birthday party today because he was deliberately trying to wreck things and knock over drinks, and he ignored me when I asked him to stop. I had to buy one of those backpack harness things because he likes to run away and hide in stores.
I.
Am.
Going.
Nuts.
Seriously.
I counted. Since Travis left, I have been away from Ian a total of six times. That's it. I don't get to go to work and think about something else. I don't take him to preschool yet. I hate wasting money on a babysitter, and I hate imposing on people.
This is really getting to me.
My temper is running out with the kid too. I usually have a lot of patience with him when it comes to stuff. I will just keep telling him, show him, whatever. But I am losing my grip. Plus, I don't have a lot of friends here, and I don't get to talk to anybody BUT Ian most days. And believe me, the endless "Thomas has six small wheels" conversation is wearing thin.
That's not to say he is all bad, he doesn't throw temper tantrums, he goes to bed good. He eats like a pig, but he isn't picky. I would just like to be able to say "here's your clothes, put them on and come upstairs" without having to hold him down and dress him after telling him 80 times.
Is that too much to ask?
I also had a solo vacation for myself in mind for November, or so, but that is looking like it is going to be kiboshed as well. So it is looking like no end in sight for me.
Oh well. Only 76 more days until Travis gets home. Then I am going to get a job and let him deal with this.
5 comments:
I think you're doing a great job Leoal! I'm glad you left the birthday party with him if he was acting up. I'm sure that will help...I'm just so sorry we're so far away and can't babysit for an evening or something :(
I love you. Please hang in there! I feel so guilty for being in CA, not NS.*
Does the MFRC have babysitting services or somewhere you can leave Ian for an hour or two so you can have some peace and quiet?
Otherwise, call me. Even if it's during the workday, I'll make time. At least I can talk about more than Thomas the Whatever. Tank Engine? What is that? (Can you tell I don't have kids?)
Or get a babysitter. Seriously. I will send you the money for it, because you need a break. And you deserve it. And your sanity is not wasting money. DO YOU HEAR ME???? :)
Hang in there. This about broke my heart when I read it. I am thinking of you, and if there is anything I can do from CA, please let me know. Cause I will do it.
*Please take this up with my ex-husband, as he's the reason I'm here, not there.
I feel you, and must tell you it does get better over time. Not much comfort right now but it honestly does. My three boys are 8,9, 12- I can actually NAP some days! Squeee! Hang in there.
Hang in there dear, things will get better. love c
You are NOT alone in your frustration! It happens to the best of us on the best of days. He's only 3. Makes you wonder how they are allowed to live until adulthood some days, doesn't it?
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